Wednesday, July 27, 2011

5 years!

Today is miss Kennedy's 5th birthday! I seriously can't believe it's been 5 years. I also can't seriously believe that within about 4-5 weeks, I'm going to be doing the whole baby thing all over again. Terrifying, but amazing!

We're headed to Utah this weekend for her birthday party- and it seems as the years pass, everything gets easier for me. She has become more of a part of my extended family I feel like, than my daughter. Most likely I feel this way because I know I obviously haven't raised her. To see her call her adoptive mom "mom" is exactly what I like to hear/see. To know she lives a dream life with her family puts me at ease. I know making the decision to place her for adoption isn't something everyone agrees with, but I know I did at least one thing right by choosing the absolute best parents for her that I could have. They are heaven sent.

I've kind of come to a crossroads where adoption becomes a little more confusing. I'm not sure exactly what Kennedy knows about me, about who she thinks my family is. I haven't asked her mom- all I know is that Kennedy knows my entire family by name, and knows that we all love her. I'd assume she'd have asked some questions, because she's crazy smart (and her 9 year old brother still sees his birth mom from time to time). I'm also not sure how to continue our relationship as my personal family starts to grow. I can either be upfront and honest from the get go with my children...or I can "hide" my past persay- and once they are old enough, they'll be told about it. For me personally, I think honesty is the best policy- and there is no reason to hide something like that from them, but it will be something my husband and I need to talk through before that decision is made.

I kind of got off topic. Here's to you Kennedy, I hope you have the best princess filled 5th birthday a little girl could dream of! I'll post pictures on Sunday. :)

(this is from my baby shower at the beginning of June)  :)